Sui Generis

Adventures In Critterland

2007-10-23T10:08:00.000-07:00

Okay... Some of you may know that I'm a sucker for a stray. Do you think I'd deliberately go out and get three dogs and seven cats?

This morning, I stumbled into the kitchen to get coffee only to realize I hadn't set the pot up last night. (Whoever invented coffee pots with timers is a saint in my book.) The reason I didn't set up the coffee was simple. I was out of water. No, I didn't forget to pay my bill. I refuse to consume the tap water where I live. I prefer my water clear; not brown. I drink, cook and make coffee only with bottled water.

So anyway, the water was in the car. I'd forgotten to bring it in yesterday. It's dark out--5:30 AM--and my neighbors are not early risers. Instead of actually putting on something decent, I wander out to the car in my nightgown. Not that I wear sexy bedclothes but if I bend over in that particular gown, we'd have a full moon early!

As I'm getting water out of the car, I hear a weird sound coming from down the driveway. I see Tom Tom, my yellow cat, and he's either chewing something or he's injured his mouth. It's dark, remember? I snuck up on him, grabbed him and took him near the carport light. Since I didn't have my reading glasses on, I couldn't make out what was wrong! I wasn't taking him in the house and I definitely wasn't touching the bloody mass around his mouth without a napkin or paper towel.

I put him down and ran in the house. Mistake. You know the old saying, "fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me"? Tom Tom is a firm believer in it... He wasn't letting me near him.

So picture this, if you will... An overweight middle aged woman in flip flops and a too short night shirt running around in the pre-dawn darkness with a flashlight and a handful of napkins, yelling at a stubborn pain in the ass cat. After the chase led through the yard half a dozen times and around the car until I was dizzy, I went back in the house and got the big ammunition. That's right, ladies and gents, a can of cat food.

One pop of the top and the little shit in question bounded into the house, plopped the bloodied remains of what I can only assume was a mouse in the middle of the floor and pounced on the canned cat food.

You see, Tom Tom is also known as Toothless Tom. It would have taken days for him to gnaw that mouse down to something he could swallow. The cat food is much easier to eat.

Now why I didn't think of that twenty minutes earlier... Well, I blame it on a lack of coffee.

Tonight, the coffee pot will be set up on the timer.

Back to School Writing Contest

2007-10-21T14:14:00.000-07:00

My friend sent me an email about a new contest at Super Fundraiser. Unluckily, I never got the chance to submit an entry so I'll just cast off my vote.

I'm voting for:

The Seven Wonders of the World by Rachelle -- very chicken-soup-esque but has good content
3 ways to teach kids about home ownership by Phil -- I never really thought about teaching my kids about home ownership but hey, it might work!

I didn't vote for these because:

Back to School and Beat those Bullies by Nigel -- no source/authority quoted and no interview conducted to prove the claims

Back to School Means Fundraising Begins by Christina - I disagree with some of the tips listed.

Assistance Dogs Go Back to School from Diane Shotwell & Raven - typo errors (Parkinson’s decease) and the writing, in my opinion, lacks something.

Inside the PTO Secret Society by Angela - nice but too short

Five Reasons Why I Loved Junior High by Jess - Not really informative for the reader. It's more like a short personal account of one's highschool life. It would have been fun to read if it talked about "what makes her H.S. different" with a dash of humor or "the crazy things she did during highschool"

Going Back to High School by Veronica - I think everyone can pick up some from her list but I think the other articles are more interesting

“This post is a vote for the best blog entries to the Super Fundraiser Back to School writing contest.”

Word of Honor by Terri Blackstock

2007-10-19T12:03:00.000-07:00

Word of Honor by Terri Blackstock

This another well-crafted book in the Newpointe 911 series. It was a bit different as you KNOW who the perp is from the very beginning of the book. This doesn't destroy the suspense of plot line of the book.

I'm convinced that Terri must have done the Precept Upon Precept course on Covenant because so much of this book mirrors that course content. Terrie shares some excellent thoughts on covenant and what it means to be in covenant with both God and others.

I really enjoy reading her short afterwords, as well. This one talked about an author's desire for readers and the realization that many Christians are getting their doctrine from novels. Good stuff. I copied it for Jamin to read.

Tips from a Dietitian

2007-10-08T12:06:00.000-07:00

I thought I'd write this out so I don't forget. LOL Feel free not to read it. LOL

We had a good visit. She is incredibly encouraging. She gave me three cookbooks (Your Plan to Eating More - fruits and veggies; Naturally Nutritious; and The Good Carb Cookbook), a new exchange book, a plan, and loaned me a Leslie Sansone Walk at Home DVD.

She looked over my food journal and noted that there were two days last week when I didn't make 1200 calories - oops. She said that she isn't worried about analyzing each bite of food I put into my mouth. She said that these general diets are good for the "general" public...but each of us are unique. She noted that I was doing great before. I felt that I needed SOMETHING because I gained 8 lbs...but I gained another 8 on this plan. ::snort:: Then we thought over what had happened this spring/summer that led me to believe that 1200 wasn't working any longer. I got pregnant, miscarried, stopped eating 6 small meals and went to one big meal, traveled for 6 weeks and then woke up and said, "I've gained 8 lbs" and joined a plan that had me eat MORE and made me feel lousy....and I kept gaining..... So really I need to get back on my original plan and stick with it for at least a month before I decide if it is working or not.

She envisions nothing but continued weight gain if I try to keep following the plan. We looked through the charts and she was surprised to see it in black and white. I told her there are studies that explain the reasoning in the back and they'd mean something to HER, so I'll loan her the book. I'd like her to really look over the whole "raise the metabolism" thing and discuss it with me later.

*I* really struggle with eating 1200 calories. I'm full! We discussed how I FEEL since I've been trying to eat 1600 calories a day. She asked if I was hungry on 1200 calories and then laughed and said, "well you are NEVER hungry" and then we discussed that really I don't need more calories and, therefore, I shouldn't feel like I have to force eat or be in some sort of danger.

My Eating plan is basically: 12-1400 calories a day, 10 - 12 produce servings a day, 24-42 grams of protein (YES! much more doable than 90-120), and 20 - 35 grams of fiber. She isn't worried about carbs or fat (as I eat so much produce and really am NOT near the fat limits and my carbs are ALL (except for the nightly dark chocolate) complex carbs). I don't have to count protein. I'll check once in a while and be sure I'm hitting the range. She agreed that there IS nutritional value in produce, including protein. ::snort:: She did suggest that I need more calcium (or some to be exact) and that getting 3 good, low-fat, calcium sources a day would also insure the protein I need.

Vitamins: She said that multi vitamins are OK but that it's best to get your vitamins from your FOOD. She said that there is research that no matter how "healthy" the vitamin you buy your body really doesn't know what to do with the concentrated amount of vitamin.....but in FOOD it is packaged perfectly for your body to utilize. We discussed how God did that. AND I was relieved to not feel guilty about the vitamins I bought 3 weeks ago that I HATE. She said my food journal shows that I'm getting plenty of nutrients from my diet.

Exercise: Yes, they USED to say 3x a week was good. NOW, according to the base's exercise physiologist this is what you need:

~ typical youth/younger adult with no weight to lose needs 30 minutes of cardio most days of the week.

~Weight to lose or middle age (that's me evidently LOL) 45 minutes of cardio most days of the week

~If you've EVER been obese or are obese currently they say you need 60 - 90 minutes of cardio most days of the week.... (I'm assuming pregnancy weights are excluded from this LOL).

Of course, ANY, amount is better than NO amount. LOL

Gary likes circuit training because it IS 30 min of cardio and strength 3x a week....but it isn't enough, according to him and others like him, to even maintain fitness by itself. I should NOT have gone from 45 min of cardio 5 - 6 days a week, to 3 Curves workouts a week. I know that's what I was told - but it obviously isn't working. LOL There is also some question as to weather I am even working hard enough to NEED a day off between circuit training as the machines are hydraulic and not free weights and believe me I'm not ripping muscle. This discussion gave me new resolve to be sure the kids are doing the 30 min NOW because that "ever been obese" thing is huge in the sense of if we can avert it now they won't have to struggle with this when they are 50. LOL

Raising a Metabolism: The goal is to have a metabolism that is functioning. The goal is NOT to eat 2500 calories a day. In other words, the impression I have gotten from MY Curves is that you know your metabolism is functioning at a certain level when you can eat that many calories and not gain...The ultimate goal is phase 3 where you eat 2000 - 2500 28 days a month and diet 2 days a month. I'm not sure why Curves has that much food as a goal, but Debbie says that if I'm feeling good, and my body is stable at 1200 calories then there is no reason to "eat more to raise your metabolism". If your metabolism is functioning at 1600 cal that is what you need. If it functions well at 1200 or 2000 - THAT is what you need. BUT the goal isn't to continually raise the level of calories you eat. She said that when I do plateau that the key is to intensify my workout. I'm sure we'll talk about that more later because at this point (after 4 weeks of the plan I've been on) I have 21 lbs to lose! ::snort:: I'm not at the "let's maintain" stage.

Basically - your body likes a consistent diet (calories, produce etc) but a variety of exercise.

All in all a good talk. I agreed to come back and visit. I would like to make the monthly cooking class they are doing, it just is very difficult with the produce co-op...but maybe I will anyway. Once again, she told me I'm doing things RIGHT and shouldn't be worrying about adding this or that or whatever.....

This is ONE appointment I had today. I'm far too tired to write about anything else.

School Shopping

2007-09-05T12:01:00.000-07:00

I suppose if we were in public school we'd spend money each fall for a few new school clothes. Last year I bought the kids homeschool t-shirts. Arielle and Nolan have worn theirs out. They asked for new ones. It seemed like a reasonable request. The older boys have outgrown homeschool t-shirts. Mike said he has enough t-shirts. I ordered these for us from Great Homeschool T- Shirts . I only wish I'd remembered to order one for Stacia. We've been very happy with the quality of these shirts and the customer service of the company. They also make tote bags and bumper stickers. All the shirts are really cute. I love the saying on Nolan's: Warning, Unsocialized Homeschooler - interact or communicate at your own risk.

My Kids Love Each Other

2007-08-28T17:09:00.000-07:00

A few days ago, Julia made a speech for her class. She wanted to become class representative. She had me type her speech, which included a sentence like, "And I would like to thank my brother who is always there for me."

Aidan had lost his bid for treasurer the week before. Julia had such empathy for him that she made sure she blessed him in her speech. It's a wonderful indication that my kids are crazy about each other.

How did we do that? I'm really not sure! But I'm entirely thankful. Some things to consider:

* We went halfway across the world as a family and encountered a mountainful of stress together. That bonded us like nothing else could.
* We would not allow our kids to desecrate each other with words. We tried to model grace and acceptance. (Not to say we don't have arguments, we do, but we try to work things out without character assassination).
* Our children are not overbooked with activity, so they have lots of time to spend together.
* We have time together as a family.
* We spend Sundays at home relaxing.

These are factors that contribute to our kids liking and loving each other. Even so, I give Jesus the rightful credit for infusing our home with His grace. Oh that we could all be like Julia to the loved ones in our lives.

Think You Know..?

2007-06-09T23:38:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone..!
Hope ya’ll feeling good. You know, I wake up this morning, feeling sorta “blog-ish”, but as I prepare to write, everything that came to my mind, just seems, irrelevant, vague and less interesting!

But as I seat, on my chair, think of what to post, it occurs to me, that I don’t know, how much for sure people know me.
Ask my family, you’ll get nothing but great accolades. My friends, well, she’s “cool”. My ex-boyfriends they’ll list my faults. My boyfriend, he’ll say I’m the best thing that has ever happened, ever!

I come across people’s profiles, and they’ll always try to sound as nice and as simple as possible. But I ask, how much do we truly know ourselves? I doubt if that can be absolutely answered. I believe we know ourselves, as much as ourselves has shown us. We can never know what or how we might react, if we’re in a plane that is about to crash, unless we’ve been in one. And even if we have, it’ll be slightly different from our first time, courtesy of experience.

So I ask. How much can we know, before we can say we know ourselves? For me, I search daily, I even make same mistakes deliberately, just to see how much of myself I can learn. And as life goes by, I hope and pray, that I’ll be a better man today, than yesterday.

Daily, I learn, who I am.
Daily, I strive to be better.
How? ..Through a reason, better than reality..

School of Thought- "Why" and "How"

2007-05-25T23:36:00.000-07:00

Does going to school, and getting grades and excellent degrees prepare us for the future?
Is there anyway we're guaranteed that because we study, we'll be rich, or get a great paying job?

I have always thought, Why do I go to school? To get good grades, that would enable me, in the future, secure a job with nice pay. (This is an undeniable fact, for everyone studying. Even parnts say these things to their children. "Go to school, get good graes, so you can get a good job!")
That being said, one can conclude that, the overall purpose of studying, is to make money.
If making money is the major purpose of studying, and looking around us, we see that most of the richest men on earth didn't even have all neccesary qualifications before they became successful (Bill Gates, Ray Kroc-founder of Mac Donald's, the world's largest and succesful fast food chain).

So then, if education does not guarantee you future, what does?

Talent? No; Nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with great talent.

Genius? No; Unrewarded genius is almost a proverb.

Education? No; The world is full of educated derelicts.

All one needs is the ability to think far. We all posses this ability. But persistence and Hard work is all that is needed. One way of think broadly is thus:

You see a very lovely dress or car, and you want it. Rather than thinking "I can't afford it".. Reason in the path of "How can I afford it".
This two pathways of thought is what change things, its what has changed things from the begining of the world.
In The Bible, when the Isrealites were deaprting Egypt, and came to the Red Sea, with the chariots of Pharoah in pursuit, the children of Isreal were hopeless, because they thought that they would not be able to escape from them. But Pharoah's thought, despite the ituation and the presures, was able to ask "How". And the rest, is history.
Albert Einstein asked "How", and he is remembered, even after death. Thomas Edison asked "How" and he made the Electric bulb.
Richard Branson, knowing that there was stiff competiton in the aviation industry, asked, "Why" and "How", and he is where he is now. Bill gates, asked "Why" and "How", the result? visit www.forbes.com and type the names 'William Gates III'.

I watch soccer, and I see exceptional skills. And I ask myslef, why aren't these really good footballers as successful as David Beckham, the world's richest footballer? The answer, is that Beckham, despite his skills, surounded himslef means of 'how' to use what he has to get what he wants.

My point? Do not think for once, that education prepares you for the future, or secures it. You define your future, yourself. Because in this generation of our existence, it is only the broad thinker, the 'Why'-asker, and the 'How'-searcher, that would be remembered! The successful not the scholar, the Warren Buffetts not Manager of of a company, the Beckhams not the FIFA President, that would edge their name in the sands of time!

This train is moving, what would you do when it stops at our station? The choice is yours!!

I'm out
Peace!

Plough, Sword and Book

2007-04-19T23:30:00.000-07:00

In Plough, Sword and Book, Gellner clearly and forcefully puts forward a comprehensive philosophy of human history, from the Neolithic age to the present. Gellner divides human endeavour into three fundamental activities - production, coercion, and cognition - and examines how these activities were
transformed by the "great leaps" of the agricultural and industrial revolutions.

In tracing the social changes that occurred as humans moved from hunting and gathering to agriculture to industry, Gellner rejects genetic and teleological explanations and stresses instead the roles of special combinations of circumstances and of cognition. He argues against cultural relativism and contends that human societies have progressed in genuine knowledge, even if at a price.

Despite the triumph of cognition and the abundance of goods offered by industrial production, Gellner warns, coercion still plays a menacing role in modern society. He advises that, though we cannot predict the future, we can understand our options by comprehending the past.

Coolest Websites

2007-03-09T23:22:00.000-08:00

Eavesdropping

Overheard in New York

www.overheardinnewyork.com

Amusing verbatim accounts of stuff people say to each other in public. Anybody can submit; just email your (brief) transcript to the editors for consideration. Overheardintheoffice.com is equally hilarious. Warning: on both sites, some material is not suitable for children, and profanity, stupidity or bigotry is generally kept intact.

Cars

Jalopnik, Autoblog

www.jalopnik.com, www.autoblog.com

Crazy about cars? Between these two blogs, you should be able to feed the beast within.
Jalopnik's scribblings have more personality ("Volkswagen continues to tease us like the
self-hating louts we are, releasing another teaspoon's worth of details on its yet-unnamed
convertible....") while Autoblog delivers industry news straight-up ("Hybrids are Hot:
Honda sells 100,000"). Bonus link: 10 Hot Vehicles for
Techies, from the new cars.cnet.com.

Celebrity Slams

Go Fug Yourself

gofugyourself.typepad.com

A daily shredding of the sartorial choices of Hollywood stars, complete with photographic
evidence. To wit: Parts of Courtney Love's new, larger body "are sort of sloshing around,
uncontained, like a Big Gulp spilling all over your gear shift when you take a turn too
fast." Chloe Sevigny proves "high-waisted pants are the spawn of Satan's sewing machine."

Confessional Art

PostSecret

postsecret.blogspot.com

A fascinating public airing of private thoughts—some dark, others funny, endearing or disturbing—written on homemade postcards and collected by blogger Frank Warren of Germantown, Maryland. Anyone can contribute, and thousands have. Just make a card and mail it to Warren—he suggests that you be brief, legible and creative—and, if he likes it, he'll scan it and post it on his site. The range of efforts (meticulous, sloppy, artful, ponderous) will astound you.

Design

MoCo Loco

www.mocoloco.com

Blogger Harry Wakefield of Montreal keeps you plugged in to the world of modern contemporary design and architecture. Whether you're a serious buyer or only wish you could be, you'll enjoy scrolling through page after page of photos and descriptions of cutting-edge products, materials and decorating concepts, organized by category (furniture, lighting, jewelry, bathroom fixtures, wallcoverings and more). Entries include links to manufacturers and retailers.

EBay Watch

Bayraider

bayraider.tv

Bayraider ferrets out the silliest, freakiest stuff being auctioned on eBay and other auction sites—a laser-etched Buddha, say, or the Slightly Used and Possibly Defective Husband kit—and provides direct links to where you can place your bid. There are things you may actually want, too. Discoveries are organized by category (Music, Sporty Stuff, Weird). New from Shiny Media, a U.K. weblog company.

Entrepreneurs

Allen's Blog

www.allensblog.typepad.com

Allen Morgan, managing director at Mayfield—a venture capital firm in Menlo Park, California—backer of Beatnik, PlanetOut, Tribe and Pluck —guides entrepreneurs on how to pitch ideas and get financing. The recent "10 Commandments" series on how to handle those critical meetings with VCs is a must-read.

Food

Chocolate and Zucchini

www.chocolateandzucchini.com

The blogger here is English-speaking Parisian Clotilde Dusoulier, who professes to love
every food-related act, from shopping for ingredients to garnishing a plate to consuming
the results, and recounts all of it with unpretentious aplomb. Recipes are indexed. Extras
include a Bloxicon page, where you can brush up on French culinary terms from cassoulet to
ganache, and a helpful Conversions cheat sheet. Honorable
mention: The Accidental Hedonist, written
with flair by one Kate Hopkins. Newsy, political and practical all at once (she offers 14
pointers "for better enjoyment of your cheese" in a May 27 post). The quotes on each page
("My favorite animal is steak." -Fran Lebowitz ) are like the cherry on top.

General Interest

Boing Boing

www.boingboing.net

A grab bag of links to cool, odd and interesting things happening online and off—like the bit about the engineering student who cobbled together an air conditioner using a fan and a bucket of ice water, and the Florida couple who found the image of Jesus on a Lay's potato chip. Gadget news, kitsch, digital art and disturbing consumer trends are all fair game for the Boing Boing team, which solicits, and vets, suggestions from the audience.

Humor

Anonymous Lawyer

www.anonymouslawyer.blogspot.com

Deadpan and ironic, this delicious insider account of life at a big law firm is pure
fiction—and should be required reading for attorneys who haven't yet learned how to
laugh at themselves. Being a lawyer, according to the author, boils down to "fooling
clients into believing [we] have some real expertise and using fear and
manipulation to extort excessive hourly fees." He rails against idiot clients, partners
and associates, admitting "you can't work at a place like this and have integrity." But
he's not offering apologies, only rationalizations. What separates him from the "truly
evil," he writes, is this: "I know when I'm over the line. I do it anyway, but I know."

Motherhood

Dooce

www.dooce.com

Hilarious personal blog by one Heather B. Armstrong of Salt Lake City, Utah, a whip-smart,
sassy (and sometimes vulgar) stay-at-home mom. Even the exploding poop stories are good.
Also: DotMoms links to dozens of blogs
written by parents about parenting. Not all of them are "momoirs;" some of the bloggers
are dads.

Photography

Chromasia

www.chromasia.com

Instead of text, each daily post is a single (beautiful) photograph taken by amateur enthusiast David J. Nightingale of Blackpool, England. Tiny arrows at the top left-hand corner of the page allow you to view other images; to scan Nightingale's entire online portfolio (some 543 images to date), click on Thumbs. The Archives section offers a detailed description of each image, including how it was shot (which camera, type of lens, shutter speed, etc.). The Snowsuit Effort is also excellent; featuring close-ups of the individuals photoblogger Ryan Keberly meets on the streets of Detroit and the things they say. For a Top 100 list of photoblogs and a directory organized by country and language, visit Photoblogs.org.

Baseball

SportsBlogs Nation

sbnation.com

Home base for nearly two-dozen baseball blogs, most of them devoted to specific teams. There's Lookout Landing (for Seattle Mariners fans), Fish Stripes (about the Florida Marlins) and Amazin' Avenue (Mets), as well as the terrific Beyond the Box Score and John Sickel's Minor League Ball. And each one has a diary where readers can chime in—a feature SportsBlogs Nation co-founder Markos Moulitsas Zuniga ported over from his popular (leftie) political blog, Daily Kos. If you blog about a team not yet represented here, make yourself known—score a spot on the roster and you get a piece of the ad revenue. Also good: BaseballBlogs.org

Technology

Lifehacker

www.lifehacker.com

"Don't live to geek; geek to live." This site, one of the latest blogs from Gawker Media
(backer of Wonkette, Fleshbot, Gizmodo and a slew of others, including our next pick),
dispenses sound tech advice with the understanding that computers can be frustrating,
time-sucking monsters that we can't do without. There's an invaluable set of links running
down the right-hand side of the home page, covering spyware cleaners, spam filters, online
photo sharing and more. For the fashion-tech report (Hello Kitty cell phones, desktop
fondue) visit PopGadget.

Travel

Gridskipper

www.gridskipper.com

Its mission: to "scour" the web for juicy tidbits on urban travel, nightlife and culture,
"with one eye on sophistication and the other on playful debauchery." Posts point out
neighborhoods, restaurants and activities you probably won't read about in other guides,
with a healthy mix of the practical and self-indulgent. A typical entry might cover a
summer music festival or obscure art exhibit, or link to the World's 100 Sexiest Hotels.

2007-02-27T20:46:00.000-08:00

Two great friends - Two February books!

This is the first time Gena Showalter and Jill Monroe
have books out at the same time!

For your paranormal taste, we have Valerian. Females young and old, beautiful and plain crave Valerian's touch. None can resist his blatant sensuality and potent allure…until he steals Shaye Holling from a Florida beach and holds her prisoner in his underwater kingdom.

And when you're ready to read something contemporary, there is Hitting The Mark. Danni's a woman with a little revenge on her mind. Romantic Times says Hitting The Mark is, "impossible to put down."

Devil's Orchestra by Sydney Molare

2007-02-25T01:07:00.000-08:00

My friend, Rachelle requested that I post her announcement to my blog. Readers, make sure to also leave a comment on her blog, http://zyphe.blogspot.com she also has a book giveaway this month.

Read Excerpt Here
Devil’s Orchestra
How far would you go to get what you want?

Tab McGrifth- #1 radio personality on the Eastern seaboard. He made his money the old way--by stepping on one person at a time. He's lied, cheated and "misrepresented" whatever needed to be as he clawed his way to the top of the pile. Now the man that taught him everything he knows, his old mentor Whitey Ford, has returned....

Deva- Hip hop princess extraordinaire. Many are under the impression that she is just a gorgeous airhead. But nothing could be further from the truth. With her shrewd business mind and amazing "luck", Deva is worth somewhere in the upper nine digit range. Deva, like all of us, has her faults. She loves the money--and what accompanies it--just a bit TOO much. In fact, she is slap out of control. When an old friend from back home, Ed Burris, confronts her about her lifestyle, things get explosive...

Juan Rodriguez- gay author and proud of it too. With his life partner, Zeus and son, Loam, Juan's life is definitely on track. That is, until Bodie pops back into his life. Bodie. Blond, beach boy tan, Juan's first lover. He put the w-h-o-r in whore...and doggonit if Juan wasn't still feeling him...

And then there's Luke...

Devil’s Orchestra…whose side are you really playing for?

Sydney Molare' Books...Fiction that satisfies the soul...

For more info visit:
www.sydneymolare.com

2006-12-20T00:54:00.000-08:00

Contest Corner

Big Bear Lake International Film Festival Announces:
Screenwriting Competition

“Big Bear Lake International Film Festival is a non-profit
organization dedicated to showcasing new emerging film talent and independent
films.

“Screenplays must be feature length no less than 90 pages and no more
than 130 pages.
Screenplays should not have been produced nor optioned.
Screenplays must be copyrighted with the Library of Congress or
registered with the Writers Guild of America (WGA). It is the responsibility
of the screenwriter to insure that their work is protected.

“Finalists and winners will be determined by professionals in the
film Industry. The screenwriting competition has agents, managers and
producers as jurors in addition to seminars during the Festival. The
festival has a film industry presence with film & screenwriting jurors in
attendance and participating on the popular screenwriting/filmmaker panel
discussion on Saturday morning.”

PRIZE: Trophy and a certificate.
ENTRY FEE: $30 (early)
DEADLINE: January 15, 2007 (early)
URL: www.bigbearlakefilmfestival.com

*********************************************

The Per Contra Prize for Short Fiction

“The story must be the original work of the author; however,
collaborative work of two authors is acceptable when so noted. All entries must
be written in English. Translations of other author's works may not be
submitted.

“No previously published work or works forthcoming elsewhere may be
submitted.
Stories must be at least 1,000 words and may not exceed 3,000 words.
Authors may send as many entries as they wish.
Authors previously published in Per Contra may not enter the contest.
The winning stories will be published in Per Contra. Must be 18 or
older to enter.”

FIRST PRIZE: $1,000 U.S. dollars. Top ten stories will be published in
Per Contra in our 2007 editorial calendar year, with the authors paid
our regular professional publication rates. Per Contra purchases first
rights, right to archive and right to broadcast spoken word versions and
right to reprint in an anthology. Copyright to work remains with the
author.

ENTRY FEE: $10
DEADLINE: January 8, 2007
URL: http://www.percontra.net/

*********************************************

Anthony Hecht Poetry Prize

“The Waywiser Press is now accepting submissions of poetry
manuscripts for the second annual Anthony Hecht Poetry Prize.

“Entrants may not have published more than one previous collection of
poems, though they may have published an unlimited number of books
belonging to other genres, and individual poems from the submitted
collection may have been published in magazines, journals, anthologies,
chapbooks of 32 pages or less, or self-published books of 46 pages or less.

“Manuscripts must be in English, and the original work of the entrant
(though as much as one third of the poems they contain can consist of
public-domain or permission-secured translations).

“Manuscripts must be a minimum of 50 and a maximum of 100 pages.

“If the judge is not satisfied that a high enough standard has been
met, the press reserves the right not to award a prize in a particular
year.”

PRIZES: 1) $3,000 or £1,750, paid in May 2007 and publication of the
winning manuscript by Waywiser both in the United States and in the
United Kingdom in Autumn 2007.

ENTRY FEE: £15 or $25
DEADLINE: December 1, 2006
URL: http://www.waywiser-press.com/

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The Third Annual Writing Contest for Study Abroad in Europe

“The University of New Orleans, the pioneer in writing programs
abroad, is pleased to announce the third annual writing contest for
study-abroad in Europe, Summer, 2007.

“Eligibility: Anyone writing in English who has not yet published a
book of 45 pages or more in the genre of application, except faculty and
administrators employed by the University of New Orleans.

“Submission Format: Submit up to 15 pages of prose or 3 pages of
poetry (maximum 3 poems).
The submitted work must be unpublished at the time of submission,
though it may be under consideration.”

PRIZE: Full fee waivers will be granted to one writer each in the
genres of poetry, fiction, creative nonfiction. Partial awards and honorable
mentions may also be granted. Winners may attend either of UNO’s 2007
study-abroad writing programs:
ENTRY FEE: $25
DEADLINE: January 31, 2007
URL: http://lowres.uno.edu/

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H.E. Francis Award
Short Story Competition 2006

“Sponsored by: The Ruth Hindman Foundation and the UAH English
Department.

“Judged by: A panel of nationally recognized, award-winning authors,
directors of creative writing programs, and editors of literary
journals.

“Limitations: Manuscripts must be unpublished and may not exceed 5000
words in length. Multiple submissions are acceptable so long as we are
notified immediately in the event that a manuscript is selected by
another competition or publication.”

PRIZE: - $1000
ENTRY FEE: $15
DEADLINE: December 31, 2006
URL: http://www.uah.edu/colleges/liberal/english/whatnewcontest.html

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Lantern Books Essay Competition

“The aim of our essay competition is to allow new thinking to emerge
on the key subjects of Lantern's publishing program and to encourage
new voices to step forward to shape the debate of the future.

“This year, we're giving participants 3 topics to choose from:
1. We've just been through five years of focus on terrorism and
September 11th. What are the most pressing issues for the U.S. or the world in
the next five years?

2. Given today's political climate, what are the best/most effective
forms of activism?

3. Describe a turning point in your consciousness. Why do you believe
what you believe?

“We encourage those wishing to enter to familiarize themselves with
Lantern's core subject areas by exploring the Lantern website and
reading the 2005 Winning & Runner-Up Essays. Past winners and runner-ups may
not participate.

“Judges will be looking for originality of vision, knowledge of the
subject, skill in presenting an argument, and
literary merit. Essays should be 1500 words or less The panel of judges
is to be announced. Go write, we'll find great judges to read.”

PRIZE: $1000, $500, $250 and winning essays may be published in the
next Lantern catalogue, on the Lantern website, and in other venues
(information will be forthcoming).
ENTRY FEE: None mentioned
DEADLINE: December 31, 2006
URL: http://www.lanternbooks.com/essay.php

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Poetry Contest for Emerging Poets

“ ... awarded for the winning group of three poems by a poet who has
not yet published a book of poetry with a nationally distributed press.
The poems may be a sequence or unrelated. Simultaneous submissions are
allowed, but previously accepted or published work is ineligible.

“The winning poems will be published in the Fall 2007 or Spring 2008
issue of Boulevard.
All entries will be considered for publication and for payment at our
regular rates.”

PRIZE: $1,000 and publication in Boulevard
ENTRY FEE: $15 per group of three poems. Entry fee includes a one-year
subscription to Boulevard .
DEADLINE: May 15, 2007
URL: http://www.richardburgin.net/boulevard/index.html

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Not the Master’s Tools: Black Poets Writing Formal Poetry

“The editors of Not the Master’s Tools are seeking formal poetry
for a collection that reflects the interests of African American poets in
using, subverting and transforming forms such as the sonnet, the
sestina and others that are often affiliated with the European,
Judeo-Christian and English-speaking literary canon.

“We are looking for a range of pieces that include sonnets and
Japanese forms such as haiku and tanka, but we are especially looking for
poems written in French, Italian, Spanish and other forms. In an effort to
explore tools of African American poetic forms developed in the African
diaspora, we will also be considering poems written as the blues,
Eugene Redmond’s kwansaba, Ruth Ellen Kocher’s gigan and Afaa Michael
Weaver’s Bop and other forms.

“Upon acceptance of your poem, we may ask that you write a brief
essay (250-400 words) discussing why you chose or prefer this poetic form,
poets who use this form that you read and any thoughts you’d like to
share about the poem. Indicate in your cover letter which poetic form
your poems are written in and include a brief bio. Your cover letter
should be accompanied by 2-5 poems, but no more than five.

“Email submissions to Tara Betts at notthemasterstools@gmail.com.
Please put SUBMISSION in the subject heading. Feel free to send
questions to this email address as well.”

PRIZE: Publication
ENTRY FEE: None mentioned
DEADLINE: July 31, 2007
URL: www.tarabetts.net

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2006-12-17T07:07:00.000-08:00

Tawny Taylor is proud to announce the launch of a new vampire series titled TWILIGHT’S POSSESSION in 2007. With it comes a new website, http://www.twilightspossession.com/, and a new myspace, www.myspace.com/twilightspossession.

To celebrate the new series, and a second piece of good news--the official acceptance of Real Vampires Don’t Drink O-Neg by Kensington (Sept. 2007)--Tawny is holding a contest.

The prize: A Vampire Lover’s gift basket full of terrific paranormal romance novels, a tote to carry them, and (not shown) a few necessities to help the winner score a sexy alpha vampire of her own.

To enter: email tawny at tawnytaylor@sbcglobal.net with the name for the secret brotherhood of warriors AND their creed copied and pasted into the body of an email (no attachments will be opened). To assure your entry in the contest, please put the words Vampire Lover Contest in the subject line. And please, don’t forget to include your name and contact information.

No purchase necessary.

A BONUS: Extra chances will be awarded to anyone who posts this announcement (including the live links below for Tawny’s websites) on his/her blog and/or myspace. One extra chance per post, up to a maximum of five extra chances per person. So post away! Please! To receive the extra chances, please send a link of the live post in the body of your email, along with your contact information.

Entries accepted Dec. 1 through Dec. 31 (11:59pm, Eastern US Time) The drawing will be held on New Year’s Day and the winner will be announced on Twilights Possession by 5:00 PM Jan. 1, 2007.

Finally, Tawny would like to wish everyone a blessed Christmas and New Year.

Links for contest:
Tawny Taylor’s Erotic Romance with Sassitude
Tawny Taylor’s Twilight’s Possession

2006-09-13T21:40:00.000-07:00

Blizzards and Sweater Vests
By Ester Sooter, Age 16

While in middle school, students seem to have one goal: to be popular. More than anything, most of the students fervently hope to not be accused of going against the grain. These young teenagers would much rather conform and be accepted by the "in" crowd than focus on finding their own identity, style or path. Like most thirteen-year-olds, I succumbed to this need to fit in. One afternoon, however, I had a conversation with my father that made me think twice about following the rest of the lemmings over the proverbial cliff.

My dad and I were sitting in the dining area of the local Dairy Queen eating Blizzards on a dreary winter afternoon. We had run the gambit of usual conversation topics: school, orchestra, my plans for the weekend. Then, and I'm not quite sure how the discussion began, we started talking about popularity. I told him that I wanted to be popular, or at least accepted favorably by those who were. He looked at me and asked me why I felt that way. I shrugged my shoulders and looked back into my drink. I had never stopped to think about why I felt the need to fit in . . . I simply did. I had been told by my friends that I should want to be popular, and since I had always trusted them, I was inclined to believe them.

My father proceeded to tell me a story from his college days. His mother, my grandmother Lorraine, had made him several sweater vests to wear at school. These sweater vests were practical and comfortable, but hardly "in style." Nevertheless, they became a staple of my father's wardrobe. He didn't care that he wasn't sporting the latest fashion. In fact, he didn't care what everyone thought of him, either. I was shocked. What was even more surprising was that after a few weeks, other students at my dad's school began wearing sweater vests. By deviating from the norm, my father had started a trend. What he wore became fashionable because the other students saw the confidence with which he dressed.

This information was a lot for a thirteen-year-old girl to process, especially one who had been carefully taught about what was "cool" and what was most certainly not cool. I found it hard to believe that going against the grain could have benefits for me, so I continued to wear the same clothes, listen to the same music and go to the same places that my peers did. Surely my father was mistaken. This is also, of course, the stage in which children think they know infinitely more than their parents. I had not yet seen the light, and I continued on my quest for popularity. However, our conversation that bleak winter day replayed over and over in my mind.

As the days passed and I mulled it over, I realized that my father's words might have some validity after all. I began to evaluate my wardrobe to find which items I had bought because they were cool and which items I'd bought because I truly liked them. I also looked back at my actions, attempting to determine how many of them I performed to please the crowd and how many of them I performed because I actually enjoyed them. I found myself caring less and less what people thought about me. It was wonderfully liberating.

I have come a long way since middle school. It no longer bothers me that those who still feel compelled to follow the herd do not accept me as one of their own. I do not strive to dress in the latest fashions; if anything, I attempt to create my own. The conversation I had with my father about wearing sweater vests and feeling the need to fit in sparked in me the desire to deviate from the beaten path and form one of my own. I have learned a valuable lesson in the process: Swimming against the current can only make me stronger.

2006-07-07T04:38:00.000-07:00

A Romance of the '90s for Those in Their 70s
By Lillian Darr

There he stood, tall and handsome and 71 years old. There I stood, going on 70, and his face went straight to my heart.

We were waiting to see the same doctor at a small Iowa hospital. I sat down right next to him as we both looked at magazines, but I don't think I absorbed a single word I read that day. An hour later, at the local market, I was amazed to find him waiting at the prescription counter as I went up to talk to the pharmacist. I said, "We've got to stop meeting like this." He responded courteously, but I found out later that he hadn't even noticed me the first time!

His name was Bill. As we chatted, I was surprised to discover that this attractive stranger was the father of my granddaughter's kindergarten teacher. His own grandson was also in the class, and the two children had been mysteriously drawn to each other.

Each of us had moved to Iowa from our respective coasts to be close to our children and grandchildren. We had both left unhappy romances behind and were, in a sense, starting over.

The more I learned about this man, the more intrigued I became. He had built his own house with serious environmental consideration. He was an artist and professor of art history. He had been a Conscientious Objector during the war, and in case after case, his values matched mine perfectly.

After a few phone conversations, our two families convened in the town square for a band concert. My daughter insisted that I bake cookies. Apparently they came out pretty good that night.

One day Bill phoned and apologized for not walking me to the door the evening before. I assured him I was a liberated female who didn't need such pampering, and he said, "No, I mean that if I had walked you to the door, I could have given you a good-night kiss."

They say timing is everything. I had been caring for a woman with Alzheimer's disease, and was about to move on. So I was temporarily sharing cramped quarters with my son and his family, planning to find a room to rent somewhere. I stayed with Bill for just a few days when he said, "It would be fun to plan our garden together." That meant our lives were weaving together, and I couldn't have been happier to hear it.

Soon in his sweet, sensitive way, Bill suggested we marry to protect my good name in our closely knit community. I told him I was not concerned with appearances. Then, after a few weeks of what can only be described as domestic bliss, I found myself sitting on his lap one day. He looked at me, smiled, and quietly said, "It would be fun to plan our marriage together." I didn't know my heart could glow like that. How could I possibly say no?

We planned an exquisite June wedding at full moonrise. So many people expressed a desire to witness our union that we put an ad in the local paper in the form of our four grandchildren inviting all to the marriage of their grandparents.

When we exchanged vows, I declared that, "Everything in my life has prepared me for this magical moment." I truly believe that nothing was wasted.

Bill and I came together at a time when both of us had "paid our dues." We'd experienced a lot of pain and a lot of beauty in our lives, and we'd each finally arrived at something like inner peace, self-sufficiency and even self-appreciation.
When I think of our relationship, I think of a passage I once read:

I must conquer my loneliness alone.
I must be happy with myself, or I have nothing to offer.
Two halves have little choice but to join;
and yes, they do make a whole.
But two wholes when they coincide . . .
That is beauty. That is love.

2006-05-01T22:42:00.001-07:00

A Quilted Life
by Julie Dunbar

There is a quilt on every bed in my grandmother's battered farmhouse. Most of the patchwork blankets are generations old. Their bindings sport holes of wear. Newer quilts flaunt their fresh, rich colors in Grandma's room. My first attempt at quilting hangs on her wall. The colors are bright, but the shapes are ever-so-slightly askew. Nevertheless, every uneven stitch holds meaning. Each crooked patch tells a story.

Years ago, during our annual family reunion at Grandma's farm, my cleaning project was the musty linen closet. I discovered a vibrant quilt top while sorting through the handmade towels, table clothes and bedding. It was patterned in a radiating star, the Star of Bethlehem. My head reeled with the stories this quilt might tell.

I brought the top to my grandmother. She would remember. "It was given to Annie," she said, a 1930s-era barter for the medical services of my great-aunt. The quilter spent hours cutting tiny pieces and then hand-stitching them together. For the maker, the quilt was a means to health care during the parched days of the Depression.

Later that weekend my grandmother placed her meditations book into my hands. She pointed a shaky finger to the day's lesson: "Opening your heart and home to those in need." Then she shared old stories of how abolitionists used quilt code to signal slaves. Quilts displayed ciphers hidden in the Log Cabin, Hourglass, Drunkard's Path and North Star patterns, among others. They were maps to freedom seen by all, understood by few. Quilts made with black cloth and featuring log cabins beckoned from clotheslines in front of houses that promised fugitive slaves warm meals, beds, safety and friendship. They meant home.

It dawned on me at that moment that every quilt is someone's story, a colorful history coded into a bright array of patchwork. The Depression quilt and the safe-haven quilts tell stories of survival. It was then I decided to make a quilt that told my grandmother's story. Hers is also a story of survival.

My grandmother spent her life caring for others. She made her home a welcoming haven. Family member, friend, neighbor and even stranger could count on a warm meal and bed at the farm. The Watkins man conveniently chose mealtimes to peddle his trove of spices, mixes and flavorings at the farm. And he was always given a place at the table. Even during the Depression, there was always an extra plate, though the homestead was not a place of wealth.

The family lived day to day, like most did, always dependent on the next rain for the crops to come in. In the Dust Bowl years, the children wore hand-me-down clothes from the neighbors and feed-sack creations. Grandma would remake the hand-me-downs, carefully pulling stitches at the seams and refitting the clothes to ever-growing children. My aunt Kathryn loved her Nutrena pellet food-sack coat. The orange of the feed sack washed out to leave a jaunty print behind, fitting for a young girl's wardrobe.

Grandma used every scrap of fabric and put away every piece of metal or paper for another time. Years of pack-ratting resulted in closets and crawl spaces filled to the rafters with Saturday Evening Posts, vegetable remedies and bitters, and even wooden clogs, aprons and dresses from the Old Country. Farm animals had long abandoned outbuildings, crowded out by discarded furniture, broken down Fords and tractors, and even horse-drawn wagons. Hence each reunion was a virtual treasure hunt for antique goodies, as well as a nostalgic trip down memory lane for all sixty-four of my grandmother's descendants.

Unlike my ancestors, I don't depend on Grandma's farm for subsistence of body. For me it means a warm meal and safe bed for my soul - subsistence of spirit.

I remember annual vacations at the farm. It was the most carefree time I have ever known. I ran wild with my cousins. We plucked mulberries from the trees, snuck into Grandpa's candy drawer and ate fresh-baked cinnamon rolls during the days. We climbed into the featherbeds upstairs and told ghost stories at night. Our parents reminisced in the kitchen below us, their laughter eventually lulling us to sleep.

I take my own family to the farm now. I spend the days making repairs, cooking, cleaning and occasionally short-sheeting a bed or two. My son runs with his cousins, experiencing the freedom of spirit that I still feel in this old house. I tuck him into bed, and it's my turn to laugh until midnight with my cousins, aunts and uncles in the kitchen.

I have more good memories of my time at the farm than from any other period of my life. It's there that I return my focus to living every moment, not worrying about tomorrow or next week. It's there that I find my peace and my soul. I find rejuvenation to go home, to create a story for myself that may end up on a quilt someday.

My grandmother created not just a house, but a home - a place of shelter for the body and spirit, not only for her children and grandchildren, but for neighbors and strangers alike. Her life was hard, backbreaking at times. But I do not have to ask her why she worked so hard. I can see why when she watches her great-grandchildren play at her feet. Her gentle smile and sparkling eyes are affirmation enough. This is the story her quilt tells.

2006-04-10T01:10:00.000-07:00

A Doll from Santa
By Alice Ferguson

Alice's mother died when she was five years old. Although her nine brother and sisters were loving and caring, they were no replacement for a mother's love.

The year was 1925, and life was hard. Alice, who grew up to be my mother, told me that her family was too poor to even afford to give her a doll.

In the aftermath of her loss, Alice vowed to care for others. First, her father, then her husband, later her three children and then her grandchildren were the main focus of her life. She felt that she could make up for her sad childhood through her dedication to her own family, but an unfilled void seemed to remain.

In December 1982, I had a job at a local bank. One afternoon, we were decorating the tree in the bank lobby and singing carols, getting ready for the Christmas season. One of my customers approached me with a sample of her handiwork: beautiful handmade dolls. She was taking orders for Christmas. I decided to get one for my daughter, Katie, who was almost five years old. Then I had an idea. I asked my customer if she could make me a special doll for my mother - one with gray hair and spectacles: a grandmother doll.

The doll maker felt that this idea was certainly unique and took it on as a creative challenge. So I placed my Christmas order: two dolls, one blonde and one gray-haired for Christmas morning!

Things really started to fall into place when a friend had told me that his dad - who played Santa Claus at various charitable functions in my area - would be willing to make a visit on Christmas morning to our home to deliver my Katie her presents! Knowing that my parents would be there as well, I began to get ready for what would turn out to be one of the most memorable days of my mother's life.

Christmas Day arrived and at the planned time, so did Santa Claus. I had prepared the presents for Santa to deliver, along with one for my mother tucked into the bottom of Santa's bag. Katie was surprised and elated that Santa had come to see her at her own house, the happiest I had ever seen her in her young life.

My mother was enjoying watching her granddaughter's reaction to the visit from this special guest. As Santa turned to leave he looked once more into his knapsack and retrieved one more gift. As he asked who Alice was, my mother, taken aback by her name being called, indicated that she in fact was Alice. Santa handed her the gift, which was accompanied by a message card that read:

For Alice:

I was cleaning out my sleigh before my trip this year and came across this package that was supposed to be delivered on December 25, 1925. The present inside has aged, but I felt that you might still wish to have it. Many apologies for the lateness of the gift.

Love,
Santa Claus

My mother's reaction was one of the most profound and deeply emotional scenes I have ever witnessed. She couldn't speak but only clasped the doll she had waited fifty-seven years to receive as tears of joy coursed down her cheeks. That doll, given by "Santa," made my mother the happiest "child" alive.

2006-03-14T13:50:00.000-08:00

A Thanksgiving Story
By Andréa Nannette Mejia

It was the day before Thanksgiving - the first one my three children and I would be spending without their father, who had left several months before. Now the two older children were very sick with the flu, and the eldest had just been prescribed bed rest for a week.

It was a cool, gray day outside, and a light rain was falling. I grew wearier as I scurried around, trying to care for each child: thermometers, juice, diapers. And I was fast running out of liquids for the children. But when I checked my purse, all I found was about $2.50 - and this was supposed to last me until the end of the month. That's when I heard the phone ring.

It was the secretary from our former church, and she told me that they had been thinking about us and had something to give us from the congregation. I told her that I was going out to pick up some more juice and soup for the children, and I would drop by the church on my way to the market.

I arrived at the church just before lunch. The church secretary met me at the door and handed me a special gift envelope. "We think of you and the kids often," she said, "and you are in our hearts and prayers. We love you." When I opened the envelope, I found two grocery certificates inside. Each was worth $20. I was so touched and moved, I broke down and cried.

"Thank you very much," I said, as we hugged each other. "Please give our love and thanks to the church." Then I drove to a store near our home and purchased some much-needed items for the children.

At the check-out counter I had a little over $14.00 worth of groceries, and I handed the cashier one of the gift certificates. She took it, then turned her back for what seemed like a very long time. I thought something might be wrong. Finally I said, "This gift certificate is a real blessing. Our former church gave it to our family, knowing I'm a single parent trying to make ends meet."

The cashier then turned around, with tears in her loving eyes, and replied, "Honey, that's wonderful! Do you have a turkey?"

"No. It's okay because my children are sick anyway."

She then asked, "Do you have anything else for Thanksgiving dinner?"

Again I replied, "No."

After handing me the change from the certificate, she looked at my face and said, "Honey, I can't tell you exactly why right now, but I want you to go back into the store and buy a turkey, cranberry sauce, pumpkin pie or anything else you need for a Thanksgiving dinner."

I was shocked, and humbled to tears. "Are you sure?" I asked.

"Yes! Get whatever you want. And get some Gatorade for the kids."

I felt awkward as I went back to do more shopping, but I selected a fresh turkey, a few yams and potatoes, and some juices for the children. Then I wheeled the shopping cart up to the same cashier as before. As I placed my groceries on the counter, she looked at me once more with giant tears in her kind eyes and began to speak.

"Now I can tell you. This morning I prayed that I could help someone today, and you walked through my line." She reached under the counter for her purse and took out a $20 bill. She paid for my groceries and then handed me the change. Once more I was moved to tears.

The sweet cashier then said, "I am a Christian. Here is my phone number if you ever need anything." She then took my head in her hands, kissed my cheek and said, "God bless you, honey."

As I walked to my car, I was overwhelmed by this stranger's love and by the realization that God loves my family too, and shows us his love through this stranger's and my church's kind deeds.

The children were supposed to have spent Thanksgiving with their father that year, but because of the flu they were home with me, for a very special Thanksgiving Day. They were feeling better, and we all ate the goodness of the Lord's bounty - and our community's love. Our hearts were truly filled with thanks.

2006-02-06T21:22:00.000-08:00

A Farewell Gift
By Jim Comstock

My wife and I had just finished the 150-mile trip home from our daughter's college. It was the first time in our lives that she would be gone for any length of time. We wondered how other people had survived it.

Later in bed, I thought of the time I started college. My father had driven me too. We rode in the farm truck. In the back was the trunk I had bought with money earned by pitching hay that summer. My mother had to stay behind to keep the cattle from getting into the crops. I, the fourth in a line of brothers, was the first to go away to college. My mother cried, and I cried; after we were out of sight of the farm, I began to feel jellylike and scared.

The truck was slow, and I was glad. I didn't want to get to the city too soon. I remembered how my father and I stopped by a stream and ate the sandwiches my mother had prepared.

My daughter's day was different, of course. We stopped at a classy roadside place and ordered fried chicken. Then we went to the dormitory, and my wife talked with the housemother. When she came back, she was wiping her eyes. It wasn't until we were passing through the next town that she discovered our daughter had forgotten to take out the portable radio and record player. I told her she should have put it in the trunk with the other things, not in the back seat.

Now I heard a sob beside me. I knew that my wife was thinking about the new kind of loneliness before us.

My father didn't let me stay at the dormitory. A room in a private home was cheaper and better if a student wanted to work his way through. But I didn't have a room. My father told me that we'd leave my trunk at a filling station. I could come for it the next day after I had found a place to stay. We toured the town a bit, but the traffic confused him. I said maybe I'd better go on my own.

I shook hands with my father in the truck. For a long, haunting moment he looked straight ahead, not saying a word, but I knew he was going to make a little speech. "I can't tell you nothing," he finally said. "I never went to college, and none of your brothers went to college. I can't say don't do this and do that, because everything is different and I don't know what is going to come up. I can't help you much with money either, but I think things will work out."

He gave me a brand-new checkbook. "If things get pushing, write a small check. But when you write one, send me a letter and let me know how much. There are some things we can always sell." In four years, the total of all the checks I wrote was less than a thousand dollars. My jobs chauffeuring a rich lady, janitoring at the library, reading to a blind student and baby-sitting professors' kids filled in the financial gaps.

"You know what you want to be, and they'll tell you what to take," my father continued. "When you get a job, be sure it's honest and work hard." I knew that soon I would be alone in the big town, and I would be missing the furrowed ground, cool breezes and a life where your thinking was done for you.

Then my dad reached down beside his seat and brought out the old, dingy Bible that he had read so often, the one he used when he wanted to look something up in a friendly argument with one of the neighbors. I knew he would miss it. I also knew, though, that I must take it.

He didn't tell me to read it every morning. He just said, "This can help you if you will let it."

Did it help? I got through college without being a burden on my family. I have had a good earning capacity ever since.

When I finished school, I took the Bible back to my father, but he said he wanted me to keep it. "You will have a kid in school some day," he told me. "Let the first one take that Bible along."

Now, too late, I remember. It would have been so nice to have given it to my daughter when she got out of the car. But I didn't. Things were different. I was prosperous and my father wasn't. I had gone places. I could give her everything. My father could give me only a battered, old Bible. I'd been able to give my daughter what she needed.

Or had I? I don't really believe now that I gave her half as much as my father gave me. So the next morning I wrapped up the book and sent it to her. I wrote a note. "This can help you," I penned, "if you will let it."